A Perfect Murder my Ass!

This is a segment that I will be rolling out from time to time either changing movies or developing more obscure characters.  All of this from the eyes of a Mofo!  

Tonight’s movie is the 1998 Hitchcock remake A Perfect Murder.  Below is a brief synopsis:

Michael Douglas portrays a savvy financial guru (think Gordon Gekko) who extends himself a bit too far and is about to lose everything.  He does not tell his wife as he thinks he can figure a way out of the mess.  Gwyneth Paltrow plays his wife who turns out is pretty sharp in her own right and is a mega trust fund baby.  The marriage is clearly not blissful and the wife has an affair with a loser con artist (who acts as a starving artist).  The husband finds out and guess what…the bitch must die!  The bonus is he would inherit enough to bail out his company…win win.  He just needs to figure out how to get them both out of the picture without getting busted. 

Ok…I cannot recite the whole damn movie so I am fast forwarding to the end…basically the husband plans it perfectly but of course things go ary.  He manages to avoid every damn curve ball thrown his way and executes perfectly.  It ends with him getting really sloppy at the end, the wife finds out, and ends up killing him. 

Do you smell something?  I am getting strong whiffs of a giant, steaming, turd. 

Here is a guy that is portrayed as extremely analytical, meticulous in every facet, and is bad ass.  You expect me to believe that after all this asshole goes through he is going to 1.)  have a simple combination to his hidden safe and 2.) put a confession of his plan in it.  Finally, he would get his ass whipped by her and get shot in the process.

Who writes this garbage?  Something must have happened at the studio on this one.

My revised ending…

Fine.  I realize that you have to make this movie longer than 15 minutes so let’s say everything happens status quo but he triumphs.  He figures out how to get away (which is consistent with the WHOLE ENTIRE movie).  He inherits her money, financial disaster averted, finds a new buxom hottie…that’s it.   The End…classic!

One thought on “A Perfect Murder my Ass!

  1. like the idea of amending movies, especially comedies.

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